Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

Tell Me Lies, tell me sweet little lies~

Tell Me Lies, Tell me tell me lies~

Oh no no, you can't disguise

Here's a little Fleetwood Mac to start off your Monday. Actually my blog entry today has nothing to do with them, but I was thinking of the theme lies to write about and that song popped into head, which is where it will probably remain for the next few hours until the latest Lady GaGa song comes on the radio and replaces it.

I joined a small group at church and we're reading "Ragamuffin Gospel" which was been awesome. Truly a wonderful book and a great one for discussions. One of the themes we kept visiting last week was surrendering to the Lord through grace and what that really looks like. We discussed the difference between truly surrendering versus throwing in the towel. We determined that surrendering meant we have complete faith Jesus is in control and His outcome will be just and right. And throwing in the towel was our human response to worry or frustration when we get to the point where we don't even want to think about it anymore and just give up all hope that God's outcome will exceed our expectations.

I had to question which one I realistically practice. In some aspects of my life I honestly surrender certain worries. And yet I have this ONE major thing that I waffle between surrender and towel throwing. A girl in our group brought a great point that if we surrender something to the Lord it is important that we continue to fill our hearts and minds with His truth because if we don't fill it with something true than something else will inevitably seep in.

I am guilty of this when I think about my hope for a future marriage. I would like to believe I surrender this to God and lay this desire at His feet, and while hopeful that I may have this lifelong blessing of companionship, I trust God knows my heart. But I think my heart has thrown in the towel on this one more often than not, and since I don't fill it with God's truth about what He promises me, I allow Satan to feed me lies about marriage that allow me to feel almost grateful or satisfied to be single.

Marriage is hard
Marriage is often painful
Divorce is prevalent
My married friends aren't happier, they're just married
Marriage is work
Marriage means you have been transparent and revealing of all flaws
Marriage requires communication and "I'm sorry's"

I'm aware that those things are true at times, but they're not the only things in marriage (thank goodness) that make people unite. I know there are a lot of other wonderful things and amazing emotions that accompany it and I want to experience those first hand.

So I wish I could get Satan's lies out of my head that I should give up on marriage since it doesn't seem worth it and just focus on ME. When deep down I really feel like God might have something great for me, with or without a partner. And I don't want marriage to be the only thing I practice surrendering; I want to do this in all aspects of my life. I want to be a practicing "surrenderer".

Jeremiah 29:11 promises me that He has a distinct plan for my life. He assures me it is one that I will find joy in, so that is where I need to focus. That is where I need to find my fill of truth and not fill it with depressing lies that allow self-preservation to sneak in and because I seek to control vs surrender.

So my prayer today is focus on surrendering based on God's Word and God's promise, not throwing in the towel on worries I am tired of facing and fear the outcomes. And to end with the great words of Gretchen: "The more I learn the less I realize I know."