Last night I had a date/non-date. I guess it was technically a second date, since the first one was about 5.5 years ago. Yes, friends, I finally saw Paul from San Diego…wow…can’t believe it’s been that long and that we finally met up again. In fact I just blogged about this guy last month after he confessed some feelings for me and desired to come to CO to visit. He still came to CO anyway, knowing I didn’t express any romantic interest.
However, curiosity got the best of me. I wanted to see him. Somehow I felt like it was something I “needed to do” in an effort to justify 5.5 years of conversations, emotions, and feelings. I needed to know this person was “real” and not a figment of my phone imagination.
Before I tell you about the night, let me tell you about my day. I woke up yesterday morning feeling a little sick. I got fairly light headed in the shower and sat on the bathroom floor soaking wet until I threw up. Lovely, huh. So I went to work only to find out I felt really yucky and left work at lunch time to take a 4 hour nap. This whole time I’m freaking out knowing I have my “date/non-date” with Paul that night and couldn’t cancel. So after my nap I felt tons better and met him downtown. Yes, against my better judgment since I was displaying flu-like symptoms. Whoops.
We hadn’t decided on a restaurant yet, but asked me which restaurant I’ve always wanted to try and I suggested Vesta Dipping Grill (very nice and always recommended in reviews). However, I picked the worst time ever to select such a fantastic restaurant. After only eating one slice of bread yesterday my stomach was a tad sensitive and I basically ate 5 bites of my delicious steak before setting down my fork, for fear my meal would re-visit me later that night. After dinner we went to the Rockies game and sat in the rain and cold for another few hours before I finally needed to call it a night. I wasn’t feeling well, I was cold, and I wasn’t drawn to him in the slightest.
At the restaurant I knew this was someone I could never be attracted to. Aside from the Christian factor, I couldn’t find him charming, or connect to his personality, or understand his views. While he’s a good conversationalist and very smart, our personalities are not compatible. Our life-styles, perceptives of the world, values, and future goals are completely opposite.
However, curiosity got the best of me. I wanted to see him. Somehow I felt like it was something I “needed to do” in an effort to justify 5.5 years of conversations, emotions, and feelings. I needed to know this person was “real” and not a figment of my phone imagination.
Before I tell you about the night, let me tell you about my day. I woke up yesterday morning feeling a little sick. I got fairly light headed in the shower and sat on the bathroom floor soaking wet until I threw up. Lovely, huh. So I went to work only to find out I felt really yucky and left work at lunch time to take a 4 hour nap. This whole time I’m freaking out knowing I have my “date/non-date” with Paul that night and couldn’t cancel. So after my nap I felt tons better and met him downtown. Yes, against my better judgment since I was displaying flu-like symptoms. Whoops.
We hadn’t decided on a restaurant yet, but asked me which restaurant I’ve always wanted to try and I suggested Vesta Dipping Grill (very nice and always recommended in reviews). However, I picked the worst time ever to select such a fantastic restaurant. After only eating one slice of bread yesterday my stomach was a tad sensitive and I basically ate 5 bites of my delicious steak before setting down my fork, for fear my meal would re-visit me later that night. After dinner we went to the Rockies game and sat in the rain and cold for another few hours before I finally needed to call it a night. I wasn’t feeling well, I was cold, and I wasn’t drawn to him in the slightest.
At the restaurant I knew this was someone I could never be attracted to. Aside from the Christian factor, I couldn’t find him charming, or connect to his personality, or understand his views. While he’s a good conversationalist and very smart, our personalities are not compatible. Our life-styles, perceptives of the world, values, and future goals are completely opposite.
And I was aware of the fact I wasn’t being a good date. I was quiet (partially due to the fact I was sick), overly polite, I didn’t ask many questions, I had to fake a good time, and I just wanted to go home and be in bed. Paul was a great date: polite, paid, walked me to my car, and asked me questions, etc. I think he really is a great guy with many good things to offer someone, just not me.
So I feel at peace knowing how I honestly feel about the situation. Now that I’ve been able to sit across from him without the phone, I now know that we will never be. And I welcome that truth.
3 comments:
That totally sucks you were sick on your date/non-date. :( Hopefully you're feeling better for this weekend.
Always a great story...too bad about the date. Hope you can enjoy Vesta for REAL some time!!
I'm proud of you on so many levels--good job of following through on the date so you wouldn't always wonder "what if" and it is awesome that you thought through your feelings for this guy. Sorry you got sick, though!!!!
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