A Hurting Heart

My heart is hurting right now. I'm sitting in Panera using their WiFi and I ache. I deep, restless ache that feels discouraging.

Let me start from the beginning of my day.

I was reading a blog today about a man who lost his wife 24 hours after she gave birth. She never even got to hold the baby. Their firstborn. Their beautiful daughter. His blog is so raw (and a little graphic due to language...just to warn you) as he walks you through his days and how emotional it is to be without his wife and raising their daughter. It's been six months and he is so sad - you can see it in the pictures. And he just started work again, but creating a routine only makes him feel the loneliness all the more since his beloved wife isn't part of that routine. He's facing the realities of a widowed man. I grieve for him and cried at work today. http://www.mattlogelin.com/

I follow another blog about a woman who was told 14 weeks ago her son would not make it full term and he was die immediately after birth. Her blog has documented all her anxiety, her prayers, and hopes for this unborn little boy. I am so amazed to announce that Stellan was born yesterday without any problems and everyone is healthy. God created a miracle. The mother ends her blog by saying, "Oh, I just can't get enough of him. And I have not been able to stop praising God with my lips and with my heart, either. He is so good! He gives and He takes away. He holds the whole world in His hands. He is worthy of praise. And He can be trusted." http://www.mycharmingkids.net/

I just sat down tonight to catch up on my Hotmail and other Internet stuff that I can't access at work. I found out my dear, dear friend from MN lost her mother. Her mother died yesterday. She's had MS complications for years, but still...it's her mother. I know how it felt to prepare to lose my mother and watch her sickness bring pain to our family, but I have my mom today. I sat at Panera and cried over her loss. My friend must be devastated and I can't be there for her.

And just now I read my friend Jen's blog to get an update on her friend whose Stage III breast cancer has now been upped to Stage IV. I don't know her friend, but it breaks my heart that a mother of two has to endure this pain. It breaks my heart because she is a good friend of Jen and Gretchen's and I am know they are ridden with pain and sorrow, and finding out how to cope and how to be a supportive friend.

I have other friends who are going through difficult times...as a friend you just want to take it away and mend the pain.

I am hurting right now because of all these people's pain. It is frustrating to continually hear of sickness, sadness, and a loss of hope.

I turn these things to the Lord because He knows what to do with them. I don't know what to do, and half of these people I don't know personally. But our Father knows them. He knows what they need and how to carry them through this.

Yuck...

Romans 15:13, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (NIV)