I'm so busted

There is something on my heart right now. Something big and important to me. So rather then feeling the weight of waiting on my shoulders, I've been praying about it. I'm waiting to see what happens, but I'm giving it to the Lord. In fact, I spent an hour journaling about it last night and referencing scripture and having quiet time with Him.

I earned myself a gold star for yesterday's prayer of faithfulness, obedience, and guidance.

And in one swift motion I lost my gold star today. Thoughts of doubt, impatience, and fear all caused me to worry over this situation. A situation I have no control over and truly desire to have the Lord lead me to a peaceful place.

It's interesting how easy it is to trust God and pray when you're having a good day and things are going so well. But the second I'm faced with a struggle I yank my faith back and act like I'm alone again.

The times I need to trust God the most are the times were I feel the most concerned, worried, or even scared. Of course it's easy for me to follow and believe when things are unfolding pleasantly.

If my prayer yesterday said, "Lord, I will wait. I will trust. I will obey." Then that should be my prayer each day that follows regardless of the changes from day to day.

I'm mostly just venting my own imperfections today and trying to have a sense of humor over the ups and downs of faith and prayer.

So here we go...giving it back to Him!

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28 (NIV)